


Braids

by Athenaash



Series: TammyInnit! [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (eventually) - Freeform, Coming Out, Crying, Fluff, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Happy Ending, Happy TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), How Do I Tag, I know, Ive wanted to write MTF tommy for Months And I Finally Did It, LGBTQ Character, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Surprising, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), minimal angst, no beta we die like enderman, screeching our lungs out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28964082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athenaash/pseuds/Athenaash
Summary: Tommy wanted long hair for as long as he could remember.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: TammyInnit! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2210907
Comments: 92
Kudos: 989





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The only CW for this chapter is misgendering, though it's done before Tommy finds out she's trans, and before she comes out!

Tommy didn't know if his hair was curly or not, there just wasn't enough to ever figure it out. It's not like he was forced to keep it too short for him to figure it out, there just wasn't another choice. His mother, with long curly hair that reached her mid back, always took him into the barber before his locks started covering his ears. The teen didn't know if he wanted longer hair or not though, if it was even an _option_ for him to choose. He liked to think he would enjoy it. Tommy could even learn how to braid!

When he was in year two or something, Tommy _begged_ and _begged_ his mother to teach him how to braid. He gave up asking after the third time she said he didn't need to know how. 

Tommy turned to two girls in his class instead, he cornered them at recess with yarn in his hands, and begged them instead. They spent the rest of their break with him, showing him the ins and outs of the weaving, but they gave up when he kept fumbling it. 

Tommy ended up tossing his 'finished' yarn braid in the trash, before digging it out again, and shoving it in his pocket to try and figure it out later. ~~He never did.~~

But it was fine! The need to have long hair, that danced on his shoulders, and tickled his back, never really went away, but it was something Tommy could brush off, pretend he didn't care about. He could settle for short hair, and $10 haircuts that made his skin crawl with a feeling he couldn't quite place. 

The first time he mentioned it to anyone in years was on stream with Wilbur. He tried to laugh it off with a "Ha! I've wanted long hair for _years_ , I don't even know if my hair'd end up curly or not,"

Tommy saw Wilbur's minecraft character stop for a second, along with his voice, like he was thinking about something to say in response to that. "Why don't you just grow it out? You're your own man 'n shit," The rest of the stream passed by quickly, the only thing sticking out to Tommy was their exchange about his hair.

Could he? Just grow it out, I mean, what was stopping him? Tommy's mum and dad probably wouldn't ask twice, they let him do what he wanted most times. Which I guess was a good thing. He was like… almost an adult. It was shitty sometimes, Tommy still _was_ a kid, but it's how it was.

The second time he told anyone about it was when his Mum tried to have Tommy go to the hairdresser. He just said, “Uh… I was thinking about growing it out?” She just nodded, and told him to bring it up when he wanted to cut it. He decided then and there he would never go to another barber again.

It took a few months before anyone really noticed how long his hair got, not that it was really long at all, it just tickled the back of his neck, and covered half of his ears. It was Phil who joked about it, just a side comment, saying “Ha, if you don’t cut your hair soon, you’ll be looking like me in college mate,”

Tommy just shrugged, “That wouldn’t be too bad, innit? Maybe I want long hair, big man!” Phil laughed it off, and said he’d change his mind as soon as it started getting annoying. Tommy disagreed, his Mum never complained about _her_ hair getting too long, neither did any of the girls he talked to ever.

When Tubbo brought it up, _that’s_ when Tommy’s stomach jumped to his throat. No one was streamed, just two friends facetiming. The blonde’s hair was finally long enough to pull into a small ponytail, it wasn’t anything impressive, just a tiny tuft of hair on the back of his head. “If you don’t get a haircut soon, you’re gonna start looking like a girl!” 

“Ey! What’d be so wrong with that big man!” Tubbo tried to laugh it off, like Tommy was finally out of his hating women phase, and was now a simp, but the blonde paused. _Did_ he want to look like a girl? That would be… nice. When his hair was long, he could wear a dress, and learn how to do makeup, or paint his nails, and do his hair up all fancy in braids that reached down his back. 

Tubbo pulled him back into the call with a question that Tommy didn't remember, their conversation passing without any more notable topics, but god if that exchange didn’t pass through Tommy's head for the next few weeks. 

Did he want to look like a girl, or did he want to _be_ a girl? A girl who could be herself, lighting up a room just by laughing. A girl who could wear dresses without anyone looking twice at her. A girl who could wear makeup, and paint her nails and it didn't _matter_. A girl who could grow out her hair and wear it in braids.

It didn't take long for Tommy ( ~~Tommy?~~ ) to figure it out after that. She had a good head on her shoulders, and hours of taking "Am I Transgender" quizzes on Buzzfeed under her belt. She was a girl, plain and simple.

A girl who didn't know how to tell anyone she _was_ a girl, sure, but a girl nonetheless. And _maybe_ she didn't have a name yet, but that was hardly her fault! All girl names either didn't fit, or were too pretty for her to choose just one. So for now, she was just a girl. 

A girl with hair down to her shoulders. Her _shoulders_ ! The thought left her giddy, and looking at herself in the mirror left a smile splitting her face. She was… _pretty_. 

Not only was she pretty, she finally figured it out. Her hair wasn't curly, not quite, but it was wavy, the ends twisting together. She had to take a good while after showering to untangle the knots that curled into balls in her hair, but she wouldn't change it for the world. Her hair was long, and it was _hers_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CWs for this chapter: discussion of transphobia in the UK (taking abt how hard it is to transition in the UK), self deprecation, and misgendering (from people who dont know Tammy is trans), talk about gender dysphoria.

She finally figured out her name. It took… longer than she’d like to admit, but she could finally look in the mirror and put a name to the face she saw staring back. Tammy. Tammy Clementine Walker. Tams. Clem. TammyInnit (A woman’s got a brand bitch!). All of it just locked into place. 

Not that anyone ever called her by her names, everytime Tammy tried to come out, she got all choked up, and her words twisted in her mouth and stopped the moment they wanted to fall out.

But… at least her hair was longer! It reached just under Tammy’s shoulder blades, and it was long enough that she could finally cut off the split ends that she heard hairdressers talk about. Wilbur sent her the place he goes to when he gets his haircut, and they were nice! They just… _ kept _ calling her ‘young man’.

It was uncomfortable, but nothing she didn’t get on a daily basis. The 'handsome' bit was new though, and it made her skin crawl.  _ And _ the fact that they were right next to her the whole time? Touching her? Not in any way sexual, but  _ still _ . 

Most of the time, Tammy was able to deal with her dysphoria, she  _ knew _ she was a woman, even if no one knew, and her body disagreed. Everything sucked. Mixed with the fact her hair was  _ three _ inches shorter, even though she  _ told _ them she only wanted one inch off, and that even  _ Wilbur _ called her handsome when she sent him a picture.

It made her feel gross, like the very skin she was in was wrong. Obviously, Tammy wasn't a stranger to the feeling, but it still sucked. She skipped the stream she had planned, and ended up eating icecream while calling Tubbo, trying not to cringe every time she heard her voice.

Tammy almost told Tubbo that night. Almost told him her most safely kept secret, before he cut her off with fumbling words and boisterous laughter that echoed through her headset. 

She knew it shouldn't be a secret, being herself, but Tammy didn't even  _ think _ of telling anyone until a month later, while Wilbur was in another one of his angry rants about politics, another homophobic politician proposing a bill that would only hurt the queer community. It helped, seeing how aggressively progressive Wilbur was, but it was still hard.

* * *

Tammy didn’t really  _ mean _ to come out to Eret persay, more like she sent him a text asking about the UK’s trans rights for minors, because she spent  _ actual hours _ looking into it, and all she could find were old people discussing her validity, or angry trans people who didn’t explain what they were angry about in good enough detail.

They called her as soon as her text went through, and she smiled at his name popping up on her screen. “Eyo kid, so, depends on what you’re asking,”

“Uh well I guess like- legal transition stuff?” Tammy pulled up a new doc, preparing to write the answers she got down, “For minors, uh- who are 16? And hormones and stuff too?”

Eret paused for a bit, like she was thinking, “Well, first you’re gonna need to head over to a doctor, and you’ll need to get diagnosed with gender dysphoria before anything happens, do you know what that is?”

“Yeah! When your body don’t match your gender and shit, I know a lotta basic terms like that, but uh-” She pulls her hair out of her face, and starts typing, “What if gender dysphoria is just like ‘ _ I wanna be a girl _ ’, and not like, actively hating myself cuz their body’s a guy?”

“That’s a valid form! Some trans folks just kinda… fit better in another gender than they do in another,” Eret ruffles around on the other side of the call, “So after GD is put if you medical file, a few specialized doctors and shit will start openin’ the case for puberty blockers, the waiting list is fucking  _ hell _ though,”

Tammy lets out a long sigh, “Dunno if they’d help me- uh, a sixteen year old much though, cuz’a how far they’re into puberty though huh?”

“Well, not particularly, it could stop some secondary sex stuff, like facial hair, and the person’s voice deepening further,” Eret types something, “And GIDS will only prescribe hormones when a teen has been on blockers for a year,  _ and _ is 16. It’ll also stop some like…  _ other _ things, you know?”

She laughs, “You can say sex drive, I’m not four,” Eret laughs with her, “Uh- so what about legal name, and gender mark stuff?”

“Name stuff is pretty easy! You’re able to change that without parental consent at 16, I’ll send you a link about that stuff later. Gender marker stuff gets a little more rough though, you  _ have _ to be eighteen,” At the long groan Tammy let out, Eret sighed, "I know, it's shitty. Trans folks aren't treated well either, legally, we have protections, but it doesn't cover all the bases, and it's not held up well,"

"It  _ is _ shitty! I- I wanna fucking be myself, and unless I'm actively tryin' ta off myself, I can't  _ do that _ ," Tammy dropped her head on the table, "And like- I have my whole fanbase to worry about, and I haven't even come out to  _ anyone _ yet and I'm-"

"It sucks, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it," Eret cut her off, his voice soft, "But hey, you came out to me, right? Maybe you didn't tell me your name and pronouns, if they're different, but you let yourself be  _ you _ on this call, yeah?"

"Oh fuck," Tammy shut the google doc she wrote everything down in, and leaned back in her chair, "I'm a woman," Her voice caught, but Eret let out an 'mhm?' sound that spurred her on, "Plain and simple. I use she/her pronouns, and feminine terms. My name is Tammy Clementine Walker,"

Tammy could hear the smile in Eret's voice when she started talking again, "Well, Tammy, I'm proud to be your friend, and I'm so happy you're figuring stuff out,"

They conversation delved into plans on how she would come out, privately at first, obviously. SBI and Tubbo first, then her parents,  _ then _ publicly. And it would be ok. Because  _ she _ was TammyInnit, and that was good enough.

* * *

When she finally decided to do it, Tammy was just joking around with Tubbo on a call with the other SBI, nothing new, and nothing bad! "If you say you hate all men… does that mean you too?" Ok maybe it was a little bad, "Noo Tommy!! Don't hate yourself, you're so cool aha," Tubbo laughed.

And hell, Tammy was gonna do it. She needed to  _ stop _ being a coward, and man up! Er- actually, quite literally the opposite. "What if I wasn't a- uh man? Hmm? What then Tubbo?" She took a shaky breath, trying to steady her shaking hands, and calm her nerves, words falling out of her mouth as fast as they could, "What If I was a woman! And uh- what if my name was Tammy, and I asked you all to use she/her pronouns with me? Checkmate!"

And the next words out of Phil's mouth probably ruined her  _ entire _ life, "Uh- To-Tam-" He cut himself off, "I'm streaming,"

Tammy left the call immediately, powering down her computer as if that would take back her  _ major fuckup _ . She should've known Phil was streaming! He always shifted from online to do-not-disturb on his discord status, and if Tams just  _ checked _ she wouldn't've been so  _ unbelievably _ stupid about the whole affair. 

The phone next to her buzzed, and buzzed, until she finally turned off the ringer. Tammy wanted to have a crisis in peace! She heard her mum call up to her about washing, and Tams wondered absently how long it would take for the clip of her coming out to reach her parents. She was sure it was already uploaded at least a hundred times over before five minutes had passed.

She wondered the reaction she would receive as she carted her fingers through her hair. Tammy didn’t care much about her fans’ reactions, other than, of course, she still wanted a platform, and to make money, but other than that? God all she really wondered was if her friends hated her now. They probably did.

Tammy would've been content to lay on bed, and panic, spiraling further, until she heard her mum call her from downstairs, asking for them to all have a 'family meeting'.  _ Fuck _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If i got anything wrong with the talk about legal stuff in the UL, please lmk!! shoutout to the three hours i spent TRYING SO HARD to figure out trans stuff in the UK
> 
> also this was so much longer than i expected it to be i-


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TWs/CWs for this chapter! y'all i put the happy ending tag in there for a reason

Her fists clenched to her sides, and Tammy tried to keep her breath under control as she reached the bottom of the stairs, hearing her parents’ hushed voices talk from the family room. Eyes to the floor, she took her place across from them, and tried to shove down the bile in her throat.

“I know you know why this meeting is happening,” Tammy nods, “Your aunt sent us a video of you, presumably, coming out as a woman to your friends, one of which was live, Phil I believe?” She nods again, and looks up at her mum.

“Got- uh- you gotta problem with that?" Her voice hitched, and her fingernails pushed into her palms. It didn't really matter how everything else blew over, if her parents didn't accept her. Tammy wasn't stupid, she _knew_ how trans people were treated, especially from older folks, like her parents.

Her mum paused, "We did, at first. We thought you wanted to be a girl since you started to grow your hair out," Her dad, consistently a man of few words, reached over the table, and clasped Tammy's hand, "But well- we talked to a few trans people, about all of it, and he helped us with… getting over a few misconceptions about people like him,"

"Your mother first, I took a while to come around, I was caught up on the fact I wouldn't have a son anymore," Her dad pulled his hand back, and smiled at her "I’m ok with having a daughter now, if-” He sighed, “ _Since_ you’re my daughter,” 

Tammy couldn’t pretend she wasn’t crying anymore, shoulders hunched together and sobs falling out of her mouth. They gave her a second to pull herself together, with worried eyes, her mum reached out and brushed the hair out of Tammy’s face. “Did we do something wrong? Are you ok?”

She shook her head, “No! No, I- I expected you to hate me, or-” Tammy cuts herself off with a small hiccup, “You don’t care? That I’ma woman and stuff?”

“Of course not, Tammy? It’s Tammy right?” Her mom pulled back, and smiled. 

“Yes! It’s- my middle name is Clementine, and I’m a woman,” Tammy wipes the rest of her off her face, and laughs, “I wish I told you guys like- better and stuff, I had a whole slideshow planned, ‘nd I had a whole list of questions you’d have, and-'' She cut herself off, and rubbed at her face, “You sure- you sure you still love me?”

Her father spoke this time, rough voice rounding off at the edges, “We still love you To- Tammy? Can- can I call you Clem?” Hearing her dad say _her name_ brought a fresh set of tears to her eyes.

“Of course we still love you, hun, I can finally take you out to get dresses, and teach you how to do makeup, all the girly things I was sad I couldn’t teach ya, yeah?” Tammy nods, and worries her hands together, chewing on her lip. The way her Mum and Dad accept her completely almost brings fresh tears to her eyes.

“I uh- I have an essay I need to do?” Tammy didn’t, she just wanted a way out of the conversation before she burst into ugly sobs again. They both let her go with reassuring words, with promises of a shopping trip soon.

The moment Tammy opened her phone in her room, the sinking feeling of dread snuck into her stomach. It wasn’t uncommon for her to have a lot of notifications, but the number of ‘em nearly made her phone crash before she cleared it. 

Tammy was _hoping_ to brush her coming out as a tasteless joke, but pretty much everyone, good or bad, latched onto the idea of her being trans. She let out a loud groan as she pulled up her DMs with Eret, all she got from him was a little ‘u ok?’, which she left on read before pulling up discord, and the SBI groupchat.

There were a stupid amount of unread messages, and missed voice calls, before they gave up around ten minutes ago, Wilbur saying something about DMing him if she wasn’t safe. She ignored that too, but she wasn’t stupid, she noticed the distinct lack of gendered terms in their messages. 

What she didn’t neglect, however, was sending a tweet off saying _‘That’s right! I’m a big woman! I will also be taking an indefinite hiatus, which is unrelated_ ’. She changed most of her usernames to something close to TammyInnit (TheRealTammyInnit on Twitter, TammyInnitOffical on twitch), which made her happier than she wanted to admit. She’d work on getting _just_ TammyInnit when she came back. 

* * *

Her mum was acting fishy all day, not that Tammy tried to care much. So when she said that there were ‘A few lads at the door for her’, she wasn’t surprised. She _was_ surprised, however, when she opened the door to the very people she was trying to avoid the past week with her break.

Tubbo held up a bag of cookies with a sheepish smile, and said, “Hey Tammy? It’s- your mum said it was Tammy,”

Tammy let out a long sigh, and stepped aside to let the three of them in, “Homemade big man? You spoil me,” She looked at Wilbur and Phil behind him, and smirked, “You guys didn’t bring me a gift? I’m hurt!”

Wilbur seemed to snap out of his stupor with that, and jumped forward, wrapping Tammy in a tight hug, “You _can’t_ just drop off like that Tams, at least shoot someone a DM makin’ sure we knew you were ok,” She wraps her arms around him in return, and hears Phil close the door behind them. 

She shrugged, without pulling back, “Dunno, thought ya hated me or somethin’”

Phil broke in this time, “Ey, I wouldn’t even hate ya if it turned out you were a murderer or somethin’, yeah?” He tussled her hair, and Wilbur finally pulled back, “Yer Mum sent Wilbur a text, she’s been worried about ya locking yourself up, so she asked us ta come over ‘nd make sure you’re taking care of yourself,”

Tammy rolled her eyes, “Is a woman not allowed to out herself to millions of people then drop off the face of the earth for a bit? This is the normal coming out experience, didn’t you know?” She joked, pulling her hair to the side. Leading them to her room, Tammy flopped down on her back on her bed, letting out a long groan. 

Phil took out his phone and called Techno, putting him on speaker. Everyone said hello to him. Tubbo sat next to her, and laughed, “I can call you a drama queen now! Drama queen,” He paused for a second, “Is it rude to ask how you found out?”

Shaking her head, Tammy shrugged, “I started growin’ out my hair, and you called me a girl, and I liked that a little too much to be cis, I guess?” She laughed a little, “You know what’s funny? I started growin’ out my hair cuz I wanted to put it in braids, and I haven’t done it yet, like I’m scared it’ll all be real if I do,”

Wilbur speaks up from across the room, contemplative, “Would it be that bad? If it was real? You got good parents, and supportive friends, yeah?” Tammy shrugs.

“Well- I mean, I dunno? I dunno even how to braid, y’know? I’ve always wanted to have braids, there were these girls in primary who tried ta teach me, but we all ended up gettin’ upset,” She laughed, “I was so upset about that too,”

“What I braided your hair now mate?” Tammy looked up at Phil, and raised her eyebrows, “Kristin likes me braidin’ hers every now and again, I can even do french braids,” 

“Can-” Tammy pulled her hair back, and took a hair tie off her wrist, holding it out to Phil, “Can you? I’ll sit still and stuff, just don’t pull too hard,” He told her to sit on the ground, and Phil took his place on the bed above her. The moment Phil’s hands parted her hair, Tammy had to try her hardest not to let out excited squeals and had to sit still.

It didn’t take long for Phil to finish, and as soon as she felt him pull his hands back, Tammy pulled her hair over her shoulder. It was messy, and some of her hair popped out of it, but it was _nice_. It got most of the hair out of her face, and it reached her shoulder blades. 

Tammy basically rushed to the mirror in her room, but turned to glare at Tubbo when he laughed at her, “Ey! I look good bitch!” 

He threw up his hands in a placating gesture, “Yes ma’am!” The two teens laughed at each other, and Tammy didn’t even try to hide the smile that spread across her face when she finally faced herself in the mirror, her family joking around behind her. 

For the first time in years, Tammy looked right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we are!! the fic is finished, and I fucking LOVE how it turned out.
> 
> please go grab a snack, some water, and take ur meds if you haven't! ily all, and thank you so much for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> dw guys... giving her a name next chapter... also she finally gets to braid her hair next chapter, it'll be so pogchamp


End file.
